Running Very Small Laps (And Other Shared Hobbies)

Dear Working Mom,

Why do toddlers love to run laps so much?

My toddler loves to run laps around our first floor. I remember that I used to do something similar when I was little. My cousins and I called it “dancing”, and we ran in circles around a coffee table for many songs in a row. Our house is on the small side, so the laps around the first floor are pretty small too.

Then… one day… my toddler asked me to chase him. We’d played chase outdoors, but never indoors. It seemed like a bad idea. Running in the house together? But I told him I “yes”– and then I also told him I was worried one of us would fall. I explained that first we needed to take off our socks and make sure the path is clear. He latched on to these ideas pretty quick, once he understood that he’d gotten a “yes”.

Now, it’s one of our daily things that we do together. We usually do it multiple times a day. And suddenly, I’ve realized that we now have our second shared hobby for the two of us.

The first shared habit was reading. I make a point to read a certain number of minutes with him every week, or offer new library books a certain number of times, if he is turning me down right and left– I’ve set the system up so I only miss if I wasn’t offering! He also enjoys coming out to the garden with me and weeding or digging.

But this? It’s become another shared hobby, it turns out. “Running very small laps”.

And by now, Dear Working Mom, I think you know that there is something special for me about shared hobbies.

Maybe there will be for you, too?

I think focusing on shared hobbies are one of the sweetest, easiest, most anxiety-erasing things I do as a parent. They quiet the siren call of Pinterest activities for toddlers that change constantly. They give me a foothold for telling him that it takes practice to get the hang of something, and to keep telling him that for days or weeks or months about the same activity. They give ample reason for us to spend time together without centering the relationship or talking nonstop.

And I’m also interested in a SMALL set of shared hobbies with him. He’s just a toddler, but I fantasize about going deep in a few things we both get really into. The most easy-to-treasure relationships, jobs, and even brands have a small set of beloved signature moves. I’ve been asking myself what I want our shared hobbies to be for a while now! But I was thinking things like reading and hiking, and later on maybe learning about operating systems. I wasn’t thinking… “running very small laps”.

But hey, it landed in my lap. He asked me for it, and on a whim I did it. And it turned out to be pretty fun. Plus, the anticipation of a more tired toddler at bedtime adds an extra sheen of attraction for me!

So now, we have another shared hobby. One that he picked, not one that I baked up in my imagination of how I’ll parent a pre-teen. It might be a bit early to call it, but I think I’ve already learned something: I’m not the only one with good ideas about which hobbies to pick. When he asks me to do stuff together, I’m always going to give it a try.

So– Dear Working Mom– do you already think about shared hobbies? Whether you do or not, I bet you already have some going. They don’t need to be big or showy, mama. Ours aren’t. Reading, weeding, running loops of the house. And Octonauts. What are yours? A show you watch together? A read-aloud habit? Frisbee? A shared favorite game on your phone? Whatever it is you do together, start thinking of it as a shared habit and let yourself really sink into the near-daily rhythm of it. Treasure it, mama.

Love,

Wendy